


A Diary on Baker Street

by NatMidwinter221



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: I Believe in Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-15 09:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1300051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatMidwinter221/pseuds/NatMidwinter221
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What ever happened to all them tales of Doctor John Watson and Sherlock Holmes saving people and solving crimes. Well we've heard a few of them. But what about all the others that they have kept under their belt ? Here we find John Watson revealing the lost and forgotten stories of their adventures together.</p><p> </p><p>[I do not own any rights to the characters or actors mentioned or used in this story. All rights are reserved to the BBC and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Data Protection Act 1998]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Diary on Baker Street

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment. All comments and reads are appreciated :)

You may think you know everything you need to know about him. You may think you know his stories, his tales, his truths and his lies. Well you don’t. You really have no idea what he was like. Well now, I am going to tell you and I think he would have wanted me to. So if you’re ready for mystery, suspense and a love like no other then I will begin.

But before I start, if you’re reading this, Holmes, which would be a bloody miracle if you were, then I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the times I doubted you. I’m sorry I complained about your constant playing of that bloody violin at three in the morning. I’m sorry if I let you down. I am truly sorry Sherlock. I am.


	2. A Diary on Baker Street: Part One

_** September 13th 2010 ** _

_ This is where our story begins. My first week in 221b, Baker Street, had been... an eventful one. Already I was assisting Sherlock Holmes in cracking his cases.  _

_ "John?" Sherlock called. "John have you seen my..." _

_ "Your laptop?" I replied, holding up the device. Snatching it out of my hand, he went and parked himself in his usual chair by one of the windows in the living room of our flat. "Sherlock I need to talk to you about something"  _

_ "You want to ask me whether this is going to continue. Whether you will always be assisting me in my cases or whether it's just an 'ice-breaker' into us becoming acquaintances" His methods of deduction were really starting to test my patience. _

_ I stared at him for a moment before finally finding the right words. "You need to stop that. It's not human"  _

_ "Who said anything about me being human, John?" An awkward silence fell upon the room as me and Sherlock just stared at each other for a moment. I had never met anyone like him before and yet he scared me sometimes. "Anyway I didn't use my 'methods of deductions' on you." _

_ "You didn't?" _

_ "No" Holmes said, which was a relief. "I overheard you talking to yourself last night" _

_ "Oh. Well. I have no clue what you're on about Sherlock. I do not speak to myself at all. Well I do but..." _

_ "John you babbling again please stop your stupidity is affecting my thinking" Sherlock always had a habit of making himself more superior to me. I didn't mind though. He has a funny sense of humour like that. _

_ "Sorry." I quickly apologised to him for 'upsetting his thinking'. _

_ "It's your choice" I was confused by his choice of words. _

_ "I'm sorry, what?" I asked. _

_ "Whether you want to be my assistant or not. It's your choice" Sherlock gave me a hard choice to make. I suppose, though, he would allow me time to ponder upon this thought because then all of a sudden, his mobile rang. Quickly whipping it out he answered with a firm "Lestrade?" _

_ Lestrade was one of the inspectors at Scotland Yard that would often contact Sherlock when the police were too baffled with a case. The convocation must have been brief because the next thing that was said out of Sherlock's mouth was; "We'll be right there." _

_ "Another case?" I bluntly asked _

_ "Indeed and by god is it a good one!" Sherlock was practically bouncing off the walls like a child at play. Sergeant Donovan was right; he DOES get off at these sorts of things. _

_ We both ran down the stairs and out of the door. I hailed a cab for us both and told the driver to take us to Scotland Yard immediately.  _

_ "So what have we got?" I asked Holmes. _

_ "A robbery, murder and suicide all rolled into one. The police are too thick to see the obvious here, John so they need me, to go in and tell them to pull their heads out of their arses and realise that the case is more obvious than they are making it out to be." He was off again on one of his rambles about how stupid the police are and that they don't look hard enough. _

_ "You know Sherlock, not everyone can think like you don't. Most people have a normal brain and not some amazing computer lodged in their head!"  _

_ "That's because 'most people' aren't me "We sat there in an awkward silence until we arrived at Scotland Yard. Sherlock waited for me whilst I paid for the cab. "John? You know you said I have an amazing computer lodged inside my head?" _

_ "Yes I did mean that as a compliment Sherlock" Holmes wasn't used to compliments of any sort of any emotions at all in fact! _

_ "Oh. Yes of course." Even his master of deduction skills couldn't work its way around a compliment when he saw one. _

_ By the time we reached the office on the sixth floor of the Scotland Yard building, nearly all of the team where gathered round a large table. Inspector Gregg Lestrade- working in cases with Sherlock for a while it seems. Sergeant Sally Donovan, the doubtful one about Sherlock's motives. Finally Phil Anderson. Previously Sherlock's assistant but he tells me that 'his brain annoyed him to much'. _

_ "Tell me." The two words Sherlock always proclaimed when entering the office. _

_ "Jackson Ellington- murdered in his apartment last night, body is with Molly at the moment." Lestrade began. _

_ "And what of the suicide?" Asked Holmes. _

_ "Lucy Ellington- wife of the deceased. Came home to find her dead husband laid in his usual position on the sofa, she couldn't face living a life without her husband so she killed herself, body is also with Molly. And then..." We now knew everything that happened. _

_ "And then the robbery was done by the murderer" Sherlock finished off Lestrades run down of the story. _

_ "Well, that's what we believe yes" Donovan replied. _

_ "No it's obvious isn't it? A murder and a robbery all in one of course the burglar would have done it!" I could tell by the tone in his voice that Holmes was getting more annoyed with the team by the minute. "John and I shall take a trip to the hospital to see out dear Molly. Lestrade you and your... people go to the apartment and meet us there in 2 hours." Being the only consulting detective in the world, Sherlock clearly felt the need to take charge of the situation. _

_ It only took us 5 minutes by taxi to arrive at St Bartholomew's hospital. Down in the depths of the hospital laid the morgue.  _

_ Molly Hooper, pathologist and the only girl Sherlock can't keep his eyes off even if he doesn't admit it. She was stood in her white lab coat waiting at the door of the morgue. "Hello John" She greeted me with a friendly handshake. Sherlock was looking around the corridor awkwardly beside me. "Hello Sherlock" The tone in Molly's voice had changed from friendly into soft and elegant. _

_ "Molly." Sherlock bluntly said without eye contact.  _

_ Molly opened to door for us. A cold breeze swept across us as we entered the room. On the middle table laid the body of Jackson Ellington and on the table to the left was the body of Lucy Ellington. Sherlock and I went in ahead of Molly as usual.  _ _   
  
__ Sherlock stopped just a few steps away from the bodies. He just stared for a moment but I knew what he was doing. Sherlock had this way of... reading people if you like. He was looking out for the smallest of details in which then would be inputted into his 'mind palace'. _

_ "Lucy didn't commit suicide, she was murdered also." Sherlock began his deduction. _

_ "Wait what? But Lestrade said she committed suicide" I was seriously confused. _

_ "They only see, John, they don't observe like I do" Sherlock walked over to Lucy's body. "Her nails- they are roughly filed down meaning she's be struggling with something or someone. Her eyes- still blood shot and puffy underneath from the crying she was doing before she was murdered. The redness around her neck- she was strangled before finally being shot in the roof of her mouth making it look like an ordinary suicide when actually, it was plain murder. But there's more. Compare the shot wound on Lucy to that on Jackson, Molly." He was clearly onto something here. _

_ "Well... erm... Lucy's was through the roof of the mouth and Jacksons was..."  _

_ "In the top of his back. Implying that he was shot as soon as he walked through his door. He didn't have a chance to struggle because the bullet was shot from a good 8.5 metres away. 8.5 metres in a modern day London apartment would take you from the front door through to the living room or first main bedroom but considering we already know that his body was found sprawled over the bed, it has to be the bedroom. Now look closer at Jackson's hands and arms." Molly and I both stared at the body for a good moment, examining each part of the arms and hands before Sherlock opened his mouth again. "Slight burns to the inside of the arm with splinters in the palm of his hands meaning he was dragged along a wooden floor and dumped onto the bed. The gun was placed near the wife making look as if she had committed suicide moments after discovering her deceased husband when in fact she was killed first followed by her husband a good 20 minutes later". _

_ "You're bloody fantastic, you know that?" Molly complimented Sherlock on his motives. She was correct though, he was bloody fantastic.  _

_ "Nope, just smart Miss Hooper. As I also know 2 minutes before John and I walked down that corridor to meet you, you applied a light red shade of lip-gloss to your lips, before adjusting your hairstyle to make yourself more presentable. I also know that you have changed your shampoo in which you wash your hair with due to the smell. Yesterday there was a faint strawberry aroma around you and today there is a raspberry one." Sherlock had finished trying to show off. _

_ "Well if you think I was trying to impress you then..." _

_ "I wasn't thinking that at all. But now you mention it, yes you probably were" Molly stood there for a moment taking in that final line in which Sherlock had just said to her, before running off, puffy eyed, out of the morgue. _

_ "Jesus, Sherlock!" I proclaim. _

_ "What?"  _ _   
  
__ "You know when you said that 'girls weren't your area' you really weren't lying!" By now, I was bordering on being furious with him now. _

_ "What are you on about John? What have I done?" Sherlock was confused tremendously.  _

_ "You can't even let a girl try and impress you for just once can you? You're too dedicated to your work that it's impossible for you to even think of the idea that someone may like you!" I had had enough of him. I left the morgue to furious to even say goodbye to him. If he needed me, in which he would, he'd know where I was going to be. _

_ By the time Sherlock arrived back at our flat, I had only been in 10 minutes. I was sat in my chair with a cup of tea on the table next to me, reading the daily paper. _

_ "John, I just want..." Sherlock started but stop mid-sentence to stop and look at my hand. I was holding out my phone to him.  _

_ "Call her Sherlock." I instructed him. _

_ "What? Why?"  _

_ "Call her and tell her to come round so you can apologise to her face" I was not going to let him get away with it this time.  _

_ But there was something wrong. He looked down to his shoes and shook his head. "I can't" What did Sherlock mean by 'He couldn't' of course he bloody could it was simple! _

_ "What? Sherlock I don't..." Then I realised what he was actually implying. When I first met Sherlock, he told me he considered himself married to his work. However, the one person he would put his work aside for, would be her. "Oh, of course..." _ _   
  
__ "Yes. John you are getting smarter" I could tell Sherlock was feeling uncomfortable about this. However, he needed to make it up to her. Therefore, I called her. _

_ Later that night Molly turned up at our door. Her eyes were red a little, she had been crying recently but what for? _

_ "John why have you called me here?" Molly asked. She was tired probably from the amount of crying she had been doing.  _

_ "Molly. You need to talk to him" I needed to sort this between them two. I mean, yeah I'm not love expert but Sherlock needed to know that she felt the same way. _

_ "About what? John we both know it could never work. _

_ "What could never work?" Sherlock stood there in the doorway. _

_ Both shocked, the only word that came out of both Molly's mouths and mine was "Sherlock!" _

_ "Molly?" Sherlock stared walking over to her, slowly. His eye fixated on hers. But Molly's eyes started turning red again. A tear ran down her cheek but Sherlock caught it and wiped it aside with his thumb. His hand was now gently resting again the side of her face. He leant in to her and whispered "I'm so sorry Molly, forgive me" Never had I seen this side to Sherlock Holmes before. _

_ "I do" she whispered back and that's when he did the one thing I did not expect. Suddenly Sherlock pulled Molly in closer to him and kissed her on her lips passionately. I stood there awkwardly until they had finished. _

_ Molly stayed for a little while longer. I left her and Sherlock to chat alone in the living. When Molly left I had 1001 question running through my head that I wanted to ask Holmes. But only one word came out. "Well?" I asked. _

_ "We're just staying friends. It's for the best" That was all I heard from him for the rest of the night for he shut himself in his room away from me and the world with nothing but his laptop and his phone, like a heartbroken teenager he was portraying he was. _


	3. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Two

**_September 14th 2010_ **

_The next morning he was already awake and changed before I was which was strange for him. I was always awake before he was. Sherlock was stood at the window playing on his violin. The tune was slow and soft meaning that Sherlock was still pondering the thoughts of last night._

_"Good morning." I greeted Sherlock but I had no reply he just stood with his back to me staring out of the window and moving in time to the tune he was playing. "Are you okay?" He stopped playing._

_"Absolutely fine, never better" He had seemed to have chirped up a little since last night, but I knew deep down that the great Sherlock Holmes was experiencing something he had never experienced before. Heartbreak. I was affecting him and I had no clue what to do. Should I have let him suffer on his own, or do I stand by him through every step of this journey. Sherlock then spoke as these final thoughts passed through my mind. "Hurry and get changed, we're meeting Lestrade at the apartment in 20 minutes" he ordered laying violin on his armchair._

_"Didn't you go yesterday? After I had vanished" I asked._

_"No didn't bother. I sent Lestrade there for a little search and I texted him telling that something had arose back here so I was unable to make it." Sherlock replied bluntly._

_"Oh okay." Sherlock started to leave the room before I asked him: "I don't suppose you have heard from M..."_

_He stopped at the doorway "No. And I don't intend on unless its work related again, John." He seemed annoyed at what I did last night but it was necessary._

_"Sherlock I'm..."_

_"It's fine. I know why you did it. Thank you" We stood in silence staring at each other for a moment. Maybe Sherlock was not annoyed with me._

_45 minutes later, we arrived at Jackson Ellington's apartment. As we stepped out of the taxi, Sergeant Donovan was waiting in front of Lestrades grey car. I couldn't make out what brand it was, all I knew was that it was very nice indeed._

_"Ah look who it is, the freak and the doctor" Sally had always called Sherlock 'Freak' by the sounds of it._

_"Well if you're out here Sergeant Donovan then I'm guessing that Lestrade is already inside" Sherlock said in a cocky tone._

_Sherlock and I walked into the flat and up onto the second floor. On this floor, there were five white doors, 2 on each side of the corridor and one right at the end. We entered the door at the end of the corridor. The flat was very modern. A cream sofa, coffee table, television and rug made up the majority of the living room. On the far right hand side of the living room was a sliding door out to a balcony. The kitchen was basic too. There was only one large bedroom and a bathroom, which were on either side of the hallway. But down on the floor right by the door was a long mat, which continued down to the end of the hallway. "I thought you said he was dragged, Sherlock?" I asked confused to as why there were no makes or traces of a body being dragged_

_"I did. John you need to observe not just look" Sherlock was scanning the room and entering every piece of information into his mind palace. We both stepped off the doormat. Sherlock lifted it up to reveal blood smeared all underneath it. "The mat is new can't have been here more than 52 hours" Sherlock started yet another deduction._

_"How can you tell?" I asked._

_"When you buy a mat or some sort of carpet and put it in certain areas for a considerable amount of time, the area under the carpet becomes lighter than the rest of the flooring, especially on this type of wood" He was right._

_"Meaning the murder must have laid this down to cover up the blood stains. But why?" I was finally starting to understand parts of this case._

_"Because he didn't want to be caught is why" Sherlock we deep in deduction so his answers were blunt. "Inspector, I'm guessing you have questioned all the residents of this floor?" By 'inspector', he was referring to Lestrade._

_"Of course, standard procedure" Lestrade replied quickly._

_"Assuming that you have no suspicions about anyone on this, I suggest you take your team and start questioning the other floors Lestrade." Sherlock knew something the others did not. There was a look in his mysterious eyes telling me that he knew something about the people in this apartment estate. His lips were slightly pouted as he wandered through his thoughts. What could possible go on inside that head of his? That weird but amazing head._

_Sherlock and I wandered around the apartment looking for clues or anything that could help us in solving the case. I followed him like a lost puppy, considering I had no idea in what to look for. He was all over the place, jumping on the furniture and even lying on the floor to look under things._

_"I was right." Sherlock claimed._

_"As usual" I said under my breath. "Right about what?"_

_"The killer lives here" Sherlock had not mentioned that to me at all. However, he never usually does mention some of the things he finds out._

_"So they're related?" I asked._

_"Possibly. Or Mr and Mrs Ellington had a friend staying with them until they could find suitable accommodation for themselves." He was actually amazing. The way Sherlock could just deduct things from no more than 30 minutes of snooping around complete strangers flat. Well to be honest, he did manage to deduct that I was a former Soldier who fought in Afghanistan, got shot, have a sister who drinks, although he did initially think that Harry was my brother, knew that Harry and Clara were getting divorced and that I now had Harry's phone. This man was truly remarkable. "Look" Sherlock pointed over towards the sofa. A blanket laid over the back of it. "Someone has slept on that sofa within the last 72 hours" Sherlock was deep in deduction as always._

_"I never saw any indents" I explained._

_"John as ever, you always see but never observe" that must have been his favourite saying. He must have used it every day since I met him! "The indent isn't dramatically noticeable. When you sleep in your bed continuously in the same spot each night, over time you create an indent. This one has two, obviously has to Jackson and Lucy's"_

_"What if one of them was having an affair?" Lestrade asked._

_"Impossible they were happily married" Sherlock snapped back._

_"Ho... I'm not even going to ask" Lestrade had giving in asking Sherlock how he had managed to come to that deduction._

_"It can't be a child because there would be another bedroom. Also Mr. Ellington was unable to have children. His post-mortem exam showed it. Therefore it has to be a friend of the family"_

_"What about any other relations?" Lestrade asked. "You know, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles?"_

_"Jackson was an only child and Lucy was orphaned at the age of 4, taking into an orphanage and was only fostered at the age of 16 by a family from Surrey" Sherlock told is that these details were on the records in the morgue. He managed to look when Molly ran out the room crying. "Detective Inspector, go and ask the neighbours whether they have seen anyone enter this flat, besides Mr. and Mrs. Ellington, within the last 5 days. John and I will be Scotland Yard first thing tomorrow morning." This was the last thing Sherlock said to the Inspector that day._

_It had turned colder by the time we went to leave the flat. The light was still good but was going to fade away fast at any moment. After getting into the cab, in which Sherlock hailed, we sat there in silence for the journey back home. It was as if he had nothing to say to me or even as if he didn't want to be around me at that moment in time. He didn't even give me one look. Sherlock just sat there staring aimlessly out of the window. I was starting to worry about him._

_When we arrived back home, we went our separate ways. To be honest I think Sherlock was still thinking about Molly, but I did not want to upset him more. I had only known this man for just over a month and already it seemed I knew more about him then what he did. I could tell in those eyes when he was sad or missing her. He would shut himself out from the world and just stare into oblivion and straight away, I would know that it was her, he was thinking about. He maybe the worlds only consulting detective, but sometimes I think he needs some to confide in. Someone to talk to about normal human things. Feelings. Even the word he never mentions. It's amazing, he thinks he's a sociopath, but really, I think he's just lonely._

_The rest of the night was spent pretty much in silence from all of the residents of Baker Street. Not one knock, car alarm, emergency service or whisper came from the street. Mrs Hudson didn't even come in once, and there was no word from her downstairs. However, it got to the point where I could not take it anymore. I had to go and speak to him. I walked up to his door and knocked 3 times._

_"Come in" Sherlock quietly answered. "John what can I help you with?" He asked. Truth is, I did not need his help with anything. I just wanted to talk to him._

_"Sherlock I want to speak to you about what happened last night and this morning" I began "I have no right, I know, but you had to talk to her. You know how she feels now. Doesn't that make you feel anything at all?" This, I could tell, was going to be a battle._

_"Feelings." He scoffed. "Feelings are for people that have nothing else important to think about. John I have told you on multiple occasions, I am married to my work. I don't care about things like that" Sherlock got up off his bed and started to walk to the door._

_He was reaching for the door handle when I decided to quickly intervene his actions "Or is it you don't know how to?" I asked. He stopped and his hand moved away from the handle slowly. Sherlock's head drop and he sighed quietly. I had touched a nerve of some sort._

_"It's that I don't know how to, It's a case of I can't" He was not making sense. Anyone could fall in love. Sherlock walked back over to the bed and sat down next to me. There was a pained look in his eyes, as if he was upset. This was something I have never seen him experience before_

_"What do you mean you can't?" I asked._

_"I was about 17 years old, and the one person I ever cared about died in front of me. After her, I shut the door to all feelings that could possibly compromise my job. It is not that Molly does not mean anything to me, she does, but I can never go back to them feelings. Ever." I finally understood. Sherlock was afraid to ever love again. He was afraid to feel, but never admitted it until now._

_"Sherlock. I am so sorry I never knew. I wouldn't have done what I did if I ..."_

_"It's fine, John. It helped me confirm something" He stopped and looked at me dead in the eyes._

_"What?"_

_"Feelings do compromise my work. That, that door can and will never be opened for anyone again."_

_"Why not?" I asked him. I wanted to find the underlying cause of this by the end of the night._

_"Because every time I try to get close to someone, the get hurt or they die and it's my fault" Guilt was filling me up now. "I don't have friends, John. I never have and never will. I say they are a waste of time, but the truth is, I can't afford to let them get hurt. I don't have time for that. That's why I'm married to my work, John"_

_This was the most open Sherlock had ever been to me. It was as if he was starting to get complete faith in me. After this he left his room, I sat there for a moment taking in what he just told me. I always believed he was cold. He never wanted to feel anything for anyone because he was so dedicated to his work when the truth was, he could never risk having any sort of friendship or relationship because he knew they would be in danger. I was extremely guilty by this point. If I had known about any of this last night, I would have never put him in the position that I did. I wonder if he told Molly any of this last night. I highly doubt he did._

_Now I understood everything. Well as much as you can understand when it comes down to Sherlock Holmes._


	4. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Three

**_September 15th 2010_ **

_It was a gloomy morning on Baker Street. The rain was beating against the window and Sherlock was not awake yet. I decided to go and make myself a cup of tea. Our landlady, Mrs. Hudson, was in the kitchen rummaging through the fridge. “Oh good morning John.” Mrs. Hudson said cheerfully to me “I’m just checking to see what shopping you need, thought I might as well do yours whilst I’m out”_

_“That’s very kind of you Mrs. Hudson. We defiantly need some more bread, milk, cheese and…”_

_“And cigarettes” Sherlock was awake and standing in the doorway of the kitchen with nothing but his sheet wrapped around him._

_“No. Sherlock I thought you said you weren’t going to smoke anymore?” I instructed him._

_“I like to have a backup supply in case I crash one day” He said boldly._

_“Well that never going to happen as long as I’m your fri…” I stopped and thought about what he said last night about not having any friends “as long as I’m around” I quickly corrected myself. He gave me a hard stare._

  _“I think I know what you need so I’ll be on my way. Cheerio boys” Mrs. Hudson quickly said and left the apartment._

_“You were going to say friend”_

_“No I wasn’t” I lied_

_“Yes you were. John do we need to recall what happened last night?” Was that a threat Sherlock just gave me? Or had I miss hear something?_

_“No we don’t. Sorry. I was a slip of the tongue” I left him standing in the kitchen and went up to my room to get changed._

_I came down 10 minutes later to find Sherlock, fully clothed and finishing off a conversation on his phone to Lestrade. “Kyle Maloney. Jackson’s friend for 6 years, he’s the bloke who killed them both and then robbed them” Sherlock had obviously found out who we are looking for. Which meant running was going to be involved most probably._

_At 10am we arrived at Scotland yard for what seemed to be the 100th time within the last 3 days. The whole journey here, Sherlock had locked himself inside his mind palace. He was trying to figure out where to find Kyle._

_“We’ve got good news and we’ve got bad news for you Sherlock” Lestrade informed us._

_“You’ve caught the Kyle but he isn’t speaking to any of your inspectors? Hmm I wonder why. Oh yes that right, it’s because you’re not brilliant minded like I am and you have probably been asking all the wrong questions.” Sherlock was trying to be clever again, when actually he was just being cocky._

_“I swear to god I am not afraid to chin you!” Lestrade replied to Sherlock in an angry tone. To be fair with him though, I felt like doing that to Sherlock a lot. His arrogant tone sometimes got the better of me. However, both Lestrade and I managed to hold back this urge._

_Sherlock and I walked into the detention room where a man around the age of 23 sat. His blonde hair was draped over his face. His hands were cuffed to the table. He did not look like the sort of person who would kill his best friend and his best friend’s wife and yet, there was a sinister look in his eyes telling me that he enjoyed every moment of it._

_“Sherlock Holmes. I’ve heard a lot about you” Kyle teased Sherlock, chewing his gum, as we both sat down opposite him._

_“And I of you” Replied Sherlock. “So, killed your best friend and his wife and ran off with their money. Anything you want to say in your defence?” Sherlock questioned him._

_“Only that they had it coming”_

_“What do you mean? How could they have had it coming?” Kyle had confused both of us now._

_“Your reputation deceives you Mr. Holmes, you’re not as clever as everyone makes you out to be” Kyle was now trying to rub Sherlock up the wrong way._

_“I have a reputation? That is so nice to know. Now tell me, why did you do it?” He gave ‘the look’ to Kyle. This look consisted of his eyes narrowing, Sherlock staring deeply into the offenders mind. A blank expression would sweep across his lips, and his cheekbones stay stiffened and solid as ever. Not a sigh or a yawn would escape from his mouth. I would sit there next to him staring at the side of his face, waiting for him to speak again._

_“As I said, they had it coming” Kyle seemed more relaxed then I expect him to be._

_“Yes but why?” Sherlock asked still looking deep into Kyle’s mind. “Oh. Of course” He said releasing the look and sitting back in the chair. “You killed them because they were holding something against you, weren’t they?”_

_“They knew something about me that no person knew” Kyle again teased Sherlock._

_“What? What did they know that no-one else knew, Kyle?”_

_“Who I truly was.” Kyle seemed to be speaking in riddles. What did he mean who he truly was? Sherlock tilted his head slightly upwards as a sign to say ‘please enlighten me’. “Tell me Mr Holmes, have you ever experience fear? Loss? Sentiment? Love?” On the final word, Sherlock’s eyes widened slightly but not enough for Kyle to notice. I only saw due to how close I was sat to him._

_“Sentiment is something I cannot waste my time on. Love is nothing but a trick with the mind when the heart takes over. Fear is again a trick of the mind. Loss happens every day; I see no need to ponder over… things of the past.” Sherlock was lying through his teeth about every word he just said. He had experienced Sentiment. He had experienced Fear. He had experienced Loss and he had experienced Love._

_“I am all of the things you fear, Mr Holmes. I will take all the things you Love. I will make you become so sentimental it will kill you every single day. Moreover, I will recall all those memories of the ones you love that you have lost. I, Mr Holmes am everything you dread in this life. I am everything that you have not been able to feel, everything you cannot feel and everything you are too afraid to feel and I will bring out each one of them emotions one by one in this very room alone. Oh look, there’s the fear in your eyes.” I turned to Sherlock. Kyle was not lying; there was fear in his eyes. I had never seen Sherlock Holmes afraid before. This man was far from evil, he was Lucifer himself!_

_“No one is capable of that Mr. Maloney, so I suggest we start again. Now tell me, who made you do it?” Sherlock did not believe a word that Kyle had said about making him afraid._

_“No one made me do it Mr. Holmes; I did it for my own pleasure”_

_“Someone told you to threaten me with all those things because they knew you would be caught eventually now tell me, who, is, it?” By now, Sherlock was leant across the table with his face up close to Kyle’s._

_He sat there in silence, teasing Sherlock, staring him dead in the eyes. A smile was elevating from the left corner of mouth before he finally spoke the words that sent Sherlock and me both into shock. “Moriarty” These words impaled Sherlock in his heart. It was not the first time he had heard this name. He had told me about how the taxi driver, who attempted to kill him, had been working for Moriarty. This name had seemed to be following us everywhere we went. Something is going to happen soon. I just could not work out what yet and nor could Sherlock._

_We both looked at each other briefly before Sherlock turned back to Kyle. “Please Kyle, tell me, who is this Moriarty?” Mine and Sherlock’s interests in this man had elevated dramatically by now._

_“You will know soon enough, Holmes, you will know” With this in mind, we left the interrogation room._

_“Lestrade make sure this man is jailed. Text me once the court case is over and tell me what his sentence is” Sherlock instructed Lestrade. We left Scotland Yard after this. Before calling a cab for us both, Sherlock asked me whether I would like to go for a coffee with him and the next thing I knew, I found us both sat in a nice little café about a 10 minute walk away from home._

_When Sherlock arrived back at the table with two coffees, he sat down quietly stirring the sugar into his drink. “John?” he asked, “I may be able to deduct the final outcome of most cases and things, but one thing I can’t deduct is your real opinion of me. So tell me; what do you think of me?” I had not prepared myself for this question._

_“What do I think of you?” I paused for a moment to try to think of what to say. I looked at Sherlock in his eyes. They were like deep ponds or like the sky on a clear day. “Sherlock” I said quietly “I’ve known you for just over a month now. On the first day I met you, we talked about moving in with each other. I had no clue what you were like, no clue who you were or what you do. You scared me, Sherlock. You were like no man I have ever met before. Now I solve crimes with you for the hell of it, I listen to you playing that violin of yours, hell I even just put up with you!” I looked at Sherlock. His head was tilted slight downwards as if what I had said had struck a nerve of some sort. “But, I never complain do I? Now if you can’t make a deduction about what I think of you from that, then you’re not as clever as you think you are” Sherlock smiled and gave a small giggle at that last line. We finished off our coffee and headed back to Baker Street._

_As soon as both Sherlock and me sat down his phone went off, signalling he had a text. “It’s Lestrade,” Sherlock informed me. “He says that Kyle Maloney is to stand trial next week. But he’s pretty certain that he is going to be in prison for life”_

_“Well that’s a relief at least!” I proclaimed. Nevertheless, something was still nagging away in Sherlock’s mind. “You’re worried about him, aren’t you?” I asked him._

_“Worry is something that leads to sentiment, John you know that I don’t concern myself with sentiment” He paused “But yes, I am slightly” He turned and looked at me in the eyes. I could tell that by his expression, he was not just slightly worried, He was extremely worried. Neither of us knew who Moriarty was or what he was capable of. For all we knew, he could bring down parliament in a single text. He may think he can hide his emotions and feelings like Spock, but not even the great Sherlock Holmes can hide from fear._

_“Sherlock, I may not be your friend, but you are mine and I swear to god I won’t let him hurt you” The words just tumbled out of my mouth somewhat. I did not even notice what I had sad until I saw Sherlock was staring at me. I think he was as shocked as I was. However, it was true. I would protect him from Moriarty. No matter what danger I would put myself in, I had sworn, then and there to protect Sherlock Holmes._


	5. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Four

Things went a bit quiet after that for a couple of months. The occasional case did pop up here and there but nothing major. Sherlock stayed quiet a lot, in fact we could go two whole days without saying anything to one another! Though in his mind I could tell that there was one name that was nagging at him. Moriarty. We had recently encountered our leading man in what I can only call a... swimmingly interesting case. I'll save you the long boring story of how Sherlock saved the day, again.

I was starting to notice something about Sherlock. Something was different about him and I could not think what. Everything about him was different, even the way he drank his tea seemed to be. It was as if he was trying to be careful of every move and every gesture he made. To be honest this Sherlock scared me more. He never spoke to me about cases anymore. I felt so excluded from his life, as if I was not even around. Like I was a ghost to him.


	6. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Five

**_March 18th 2011_ **

_I decided to take a trip to my old psychiatrist. She was always a good person to talk to if Sherlock was not speaking. I had hardly seen her since I met Sherlock. To be honest I did not need her since meeting him! He was, you could say, my personal 24/7 psychiatrist, although his advice normally involved me shutting out all emotions and feelings what so ever._

_I arrived, for the first time in a long time. The old building had greenery growing around the archway to the door yet the windows looked freshly glassed. I entered the building and checked in at the front desk._

_After a 15 minute wait I was called into the room. It had not changed one bit since I was last here. It was a plain room. A desk was pushed right up against the wall with a black leather chair that spun neatly tucked under it. Near the window were two large comfortable chairs place parallel to each other at a slight angle with a small coffee table in the middle of them._

_"John. Please sit down." she instructed me. Dr Somerfield had been my psychiatrist ever since I arrived back from Afghanistan. She was very good and very efficient in her methods. She reminded me of Sherlock a bit actually._

_I sat down in the chair near to window. "What can I help you with?" she asked._

_"Well. I have this, this..." the urge to say friend was strongly battling again the urge to say flatmate. But friend did not win. "...this flatmate, who is somewhat different to others it seems"_

_"And what do you mean by that John?" I think I had confused her a bit ._

_"He never eats. He never sleeps. He is obsessed with his work! But lately he's had no work and he's just seemed to have isolated himself from our landlady and myself. I'm just... I'm just worried about him. A lot actually" I had never admitted that. I hadn't even admitted it to myself yet!_

_She didn't say a nothing for a moment or two, she just wrote. "So this, flatmate, is he just a flat mate? or is he more like your partner" Was she assuming that me and Sherlock were a couple ? I mean we may quarrel like one but I had not romantic emotions or feelings for him!_

_"Oh god no! No no no no no! He considers himself married to his work, I'm just... his associate you could say?" I had saved myself from that unthinkable thought._

_"Oh so like a work colleague?_

_"Yes! yes a work colleague. But as I said Dr Somerfield, I'm concerned about him"_

_We spent the rest of that session just talking about Sherlock and what I should do. I told her I never interfered with trying to help Sherlock find a case. Of course I put it more discreetly than that. I didn't want her knowing that my flatmate was the only consulting detective in the world._

_She sat and listened to me go on about him. I probably sounded like a school girl fantasising over their crush to their friends, but I just needed to get it out in the open when sudden my text alert went off._

**'Come now if convenient**

**If inconvenient come all the same.**

**SH'**

_I had received this text many of time from Sherlock whenever he needed my help. This was the first contact we had had in a while. "I'm so sorry I've gotta go" I explained to Dr. Somerfield._

_"John, remember if you ever need a chat, just pop in" her kind words gave me a sense of security in someone. I acknowledged her with a slight nod of my head then rushed out of her office._

_When I arrived at back at Baker Street, I rushed up the stairs as quickly as I could. I found my detective friend lying flat out on the sofa with his head deep in a cushion. “Sherlock?” I said with a sense of urgency in my voice. “Sherlock what is it?” When I got no reply, I started to panic. Had he passed out or even worse was he dead? “Sherlock?!” I repeated his name several times before losing it. “SHERLOCK HOLMES ANSWER ME NOW YOU SELFISH BASTARD!” I screamed at him grabbing hold of his shoulder and flipped him over, causing him to fall onto the fall. But then I discovered something. This wasn’t my detective friend I had thought it was. It was a perfect replica._

_“Now John, no need for name calling is there?” A familiar voice spoke from behind me. I turned around to see Sherlock standing there, alive and perfectly fine._

_I was panting from my outburst and the run up the stairs. “Oh I swear to God, Sherlock I will kill you!” Why would he pull a trick like this on me?! What had I done to deserve the life being scared out of me?_

_“Hmm, no you won’t.” He was trying to be clever again._

_“What did you want, Sherlock? I was at…”_

_“You were at your psychiatrist, I know. Mycroft told me.” Mycroft, Sherlock’s elder brother, seemed to know every detail of my life like his brother. He even knew where I was at what times. But then again he did run the British Government and had significant control over the actions Sherlock and I took on cases. With one word he would end our ‘miserable’ lives and he would remind us of this every time he caught Sherlock doing something wrong._

_“Okay Mr. Smarty-pants that’s enough of that. Now, what did you want?”_

_“What do you mean what do I want?” Had it really been possible for Sherlock Holmes to forget what he wanted within the space of 15 minutes?_

_“Your text? The text you sent me just 15 minutes ago?!” I was frustrated with him, not only because he forgot why he had summoned me, but also because of the fact he had given me a heart attack just moments before._

_“The text? Oh the text! Yes Lestrade called, a case has popped up.”_

_“Rating?” I asked. Sherlock had this ridiculous rating scheme where he would put each case on a scale of 1-10. If the case was anything lower than a 7, Sherlock would refuse to leave the flat to solve it. If, however, it was a 10, Sherlock would be out of the door quicker than a cheater running after his prey._

_“9 pushing a 10” Sherlock’s deep voice had become slightly higher than usual, meaning he was very excited about this case._

_We didn’t go over to Scotland Yard for a change, instead Lestrade, Sgt. Donovan and Anderson all gathered at out flat. The thought of Anderson in our home repulsed Sherlock and made him shudder. They had never got along. And considering that on my first night living in 221b Anderson conducted a full drags raid, I wasn’t too fond of him either!_

_“What’s this?” Anderson squealed as he rummaged through our fridge._

_“Anderson keep your infectious stupidity to yourself. It’s a rat’s tail, I’m conducting an experiment. Now leave it alone!” Sherlock shouted through to Anderson._

_Lestrade slammed a brown file down in front of Sherlock and I. We sat side by side on the sofa gazing at this folder as Lestrade gave us the run down. “Two sisters, Annie and Isobel Worthing, Both are being held in custody for the murder of their Stepfather. Both of them confess to doing it but aren’t telling us why.” This case seemed to be easy enough to solve. All we had to do was go and question them. “But…” Oh dear, it was never good when Lestrade added ‘but’ to the conversation. “The stepfather’s heart was missing when Molly conducted the post-mortem. No one knows where it is, who has it or even why it was missing.” That had made the case a little bit harder than I anticipated._

_“So a sisterly murder, with a missing heart as the cherry on the cake? Oh how exciting!” I could not tell whether Sherlock was being sarcastic or general._

_Lestrade sighed. “Look are you wanting to take this case or not because if not I have other perfectly good detectives who are willing to get a pay rise.”_

_“Yes but none of them compare to me do they Lestrade?” Sherlock gave a long serious look at Lestrade._

_“No. No, they do not. Sherlock don’t make me beg you” Lestrade was getting tired of Sherlock tedious behaviour._

_“Oh I don’t know, I reckon watching you beg for me could be fun, what do you say John?” Sherlock asked me. I did not want to be part of this battle for dominance._

_“Not getting involved!” I simply said leaning back on the sofa. I tried to distant myself from the conversation that was going on, but I knew Sherlock would not appreciate it if I had switched off all together._

_“Sherlock. You know I wouldn’t ask you unless it was absolutely necessary…”_

_“Well…” Sherlock interrupted._

_“Sherlock!” Lestrade paused before speaking again. “Please. Will you take this case?”_

_“Lestrade, you have known me for well over 5 years now. You consider me something of a ‘friend’; feeling isn’t mutual by the way no offence.”_

_“None taken” Lestrade mumbled._

_“Of course I will accept the case, but I shall be unable to do anything until tomorrow. I’m very caught up at the moment with other, possibly more important, pieces of work for Mycroft.” I was confused. Just a couple of hours ago, Sherlock was moaning about having no work to do; now he is telling Lestrade that he is up to his neck in work!_

_“We’ll be ready whenever you are. I’ll leave you to get on with… whatever it is you’re doing.” Lestrade left after this._

_“Why did you tell Lestrade that you had work to do when you actually have nothing?” I asked Sherlock._

_“Oh John, 6 months after I met you and you still never fail to surprise me with your level of stupidity.” Oh how charming of him!_

_“Cheers Sherlock much appreciated!” There was a silence for a moment. He could tell that I did not actually appreciate being called stupid. “You need to stop lying, Sherlock. People don’t like liars”_

_“I don’t lie!” Sherlock lied._

_“There you go again! Lying! Sherlock, you lie to everyone. You lie to Lestrade, you lie to your own brother, hell you probably even lie to me!” Sherlock turned to me. He was looking at me dead in my eyes. He gave me them big sorrowful puppy dog eyes. I knew he probably had ‘a perfectly sustainable and explainable reason’ for lying to me._

_“John. If I have ever lied to you and if I do ever lie to you, know this now. I have only ever done it to protect you.” His voice seemed deeper than ever. His eyes larger and more sorrowful with each word. However, I believed him. I trusted him. Was that a mistake?_

_I lowered the tone of my voice so I was not shouting at him any longer. “Sherlock. Please. Just stop lying to people. Maybe that way you could…”_

_“…could make friends?” Sherlock finished off my sentence. “John you know I don’t have friends. Friends and sentimentality are two things in this world I don’t have time for.” I hung my head. Over the last few months, I had started to grow fonder of Sherlock. He was more than my friend now, he was boarding on being my best friend. Nevertheless, I knew I would never be his in return. “John I’m sorry if you feel that I am your friend, but I can’t risk losing you to my enemies. I am not a hero, John. I would not be able to stop them from hurting you.” I raised my head up again to find them puppy dog eyes staring at me larger than ever._

_I didn’t know how to respond, so I just said the first thing that popped into my head. “Do you want a cupper?”_ _I asked._

_Sherlock gave a small giggle. “Yes I do want a cup of tea” he responded “Thank You” I was surprised by this. Sherlock never said thank you to anyone. I walked over to the kettle, took it off the stand and filled it up with water._

_Once I had made the tea, strong with 2 sugars for Sherlock and milky with no sugars for myself, I went and handed Sherlock his tea before going and sitting in my usual space. I saw that a copy of ‘The Sun’ was lying on the floor. I went to pick it up. “There’s nothing of importance in there, you wouldn’t want to read it. A couple of celebrities had fights. Government issues that, if he wanted to, Mycroft could tell you about. Only the usual boring things are in there, I wouldn’t bother if I were you” Sherlock gave me the rundown of what the paper contained._

_“Sherlock, how do you know what’s in this paper? Have you read it already?” I asked._

_“Hmm no. One glance at the front page and I can tell” He replied but there was something he missed._

_“Well you missed out one thing” I turned the paper around so the front page was facing him. “You’ve made today’s headline.” He quickly glanced around._


	7. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Six

**_March 19 th 2011_ **

_London always seemed gloomy on a Saturday morning. Not sure why. The clouds were a dark and gloomy grey color and there was a low fog that spread across Baker Street. Looking out the window, I could hardly see the flats opposite._

_I had not slept well the night before and my head was pounding so when my noisy flat mate, Sherlock came bounding into the living room this morning it made me feel terrible. “You ready John?” He voice went straight through me making my head pound even more._

_“Sherlock, please could you speak a little quieter?” I asked him._

_“Why, what’s wrong?” Sherlock seemed concerned about what was wrong with me._

_“Because I didn’t sleep well last night and now I have a stinking headache,” I explained to Sherlock._

_“Oh. Well if you are not feeling well then I guess you wouldn’t want to come solve this case with me. Oh well I’m sure Anderson would be up for it.” He teased me. I knew he would never work with Anderson on a case. He also knew I strongly disliked Anderson so he used him against me._

_“Sherlock Holmes you are a cruel, cruel man” I gave him a glare but Sherlock just stood there with a smile on his face. “Give me 20 minutes and we’ll go” I was not going to let a little headache get in the way of solving a crime with my friend._

_After running upstairs, getting changed, coming down and taking a tablet for my head, Sherlock was waiting in his chair, impatiently tapping his foot. “You ready?” Sherlock asked me._

_“Whenever you are” I replied. We left the flat and made our way over to St Bartholomew’s hospital were Molly would be waiting for us with a fresh corpse._

_Sherlock and Molly’s relationship hadn’t gotten any higher then friends, well friends in my eyes in Sherlock’s he probably saw her more as an acquaintance. However, I knew that both Sherlock and Molly still had feelings for each other. Nothing could deny that, especially when I would occasionally catch Sherlock looking at Molly when she was not looking._

_By the time, we got down to the morgue we were in for a shock. "Molly we need you to..." Sherlock started before suddenly stopping and_ _realising_ _that the pathologist on duty that day was not Molly Hooper. "Whe...where's Molly?" Sherlock asked with a hint of disappointment in his voice._

_"She's taken a couple of weeks of work, stress I think. My names Elisa. I'm her temp until she gets back" I looked at Sherlock. He was staring at her, trying to deduce her down to the last detail._ _I gave him a gentle nudge with my elbow causing him to snap, suddenly out of the state he was in._

_“John can I have a word with you outside? Please. Now” I followed Sherlock out of the morgue._

_“There’s something wrong here. Molly would never take time off due to stress. She’s too committed to her work” Sherlock informed me._

_“So what are you thinking?” I asked him._

_“I don’t know. And I don’t like not knowing!” We made our way back into the morgue._

_“So, Elisa, we need the body of one Jack Mallings. He died a couple of days ago and we, I mean I need to examine him” Sherlock instructed Elisa._

_“And what’s his job, to stand there and make you look good?” She gestured to me._

_“Professional opinion is always helpful. John here is a former army doctor and is now also my acquaintance in my cases.” Why couldn’t he just say friend? Oh wait, that’s because he’s Sherlock Holmes- the sociopath with no feelings or emotions what so flipping ever!_

_"I can give you 5 minutes." Elisa instructed us._

_Sherlock scoffed "Please, if you know who I am, you'll know that I'll only need 2" Elisa rolled out the body. Across his chest was a scar, clearly from where his heart had been cut out._

_I had noticed that Elisa had walked away. She was doing something on the computer right in the corner of the room. I couldn't see what she was doing properly but by the positioning of the black squares, which probably were headings, it looked like she was filling out some sort of form._

_"John. Professional opinion?" Sherlock asked me. I took a glance over at the body, whilst Sherlock stood by Mr Mallings head. I could see out the corner of my eye he was staring at Elisa. I grabbed a pair of clear, plastic gloves and slipped them on before pursuing my way over to the body._

_I checked over various places of his body. Under his nails, his eyes etcetera. I ran my fingers over the scar from where the two girls had cut out his heart then sown him back up again. I realised something though. “Sherlock?” I called “Want come here for a sec?” He strode over to me with them long legs._

_“What have you found?” He whispered._

_“Those stitches, they’re only taught to people with a high medical degree. I only know them stitches because I was required to know them out in Afghanistan!” I replied in a hushed tone._

_“So one of the sisters is a medic?”_

_“Or both. It’s more than likely that she would have had an assistant, most likely her sister. She would have had to of known what she was doing” I replied. Personally I thought my deducing skills were improving greatly. However Sherlock thought otherwise._

_“Two medical sisters, hate their step father, kill him, take his heart then stitch him back up again. What an ingenious case!” He was getting a little too over excited by this, I could tell._

_“Case closed then!” I replied._

_“No. No quite. We still don’t know why, do we?”_

_"Why what?" I asked._

_"Why the girls killed their stepfather of course!"_ _Either Sherlock was losing his patients with me or he really wanted to solve this case quickly. Maybe it was ever both. “Elisa? John and I are done here. If we need you, we will get Scotland Yard to contact you.” After this we left._

_“Did you notice something unusual about her?” Sherlock asked me._

_“Well besides her not being our usual pathologist, then no not really” I replied._

_“For someone who works in a morgue, she seemed very reluctant to stand anywhere near the bodies” Now he had mentioned it, Sherlock did have a point. Considering she stood in the corner doing work on the computer when we were running over the body, then yes it did seem a bit odd._

_“So what are you implying?” I asked Sherlock in a curious tone._

_“Maybe ‘Elisa’ isn’t all who’s she making out to be.” Sherlock strode off down the corridor._

_We didn’t bother to report back to Lestrade after that. Instead we made our way back to 221b._

_By the time we got home, the sun was peeking out through the clouds. The sound of birdsong battled against the roar of the passing traffic and a cool breeze danced across me skin._

_When we got upstairs, both Sherlock and I removed our jackets. I sat down at the desk with my laptop and logged onto my blog. I thought I should try and start writing about this case. I sat there for a good 5 minutes attempting to think of a title for this post before coming up with one._

_‘The Heartless Father’ was typed into the small box at the top of the screen._

_After 30 minutes of writing I decided to read back what I had wrote._

_‘Another day, another case. As he slithered along the corridor this morning, my detective informed me of yet another case that had arose down at Scotland Yard this morning. His deepened tone had described the case in such detail. The words, slipping and sliding out of his mouth. He was like a poet the way he described it._

_After a short shower and change we were told to go and check out the corpse of a Jack Mallings. He was a middle aged feller, around 45/46 by my predictions. His heart had apparently been removed by his two step daughters. The scaring pattern on his chest revealed that they had some form of higher medical training. I had seen stitches similar to those on Mr. Mallings chest when I was fighting in Afghanistan._

_The case of Mr. Mallings was not the only curious thing about today. There was also a new pathologist at St Bartholomew’s. Her name was Elisa. Must have been about 29. She informed us that Molly was off due to stress apparently. However Sherlock Holmes did not think this to be true. Of course as usual, he questioned her motives of being in the morgue. He also openly admitted to me that he knew Molly would never take time off sick. I think we now both believe that something was defiantly wrong here.’_

_“Blogging again?” Sherlock asked me with half a biscuit sticking out of his mouth and a steaming cup of tea in his right hand._

_“Possibly.” I replied._

_“Well it’s obvious you are. You’re only ever on your laptop this long if you are blogging” He deduced,_

_“I do, do other things on my laptop besides blog Sherlock.”_

_“Porn does not count as other things. It counts as a waste other time and can lead to you becoming an addict!” I rolled my eyes at this comment. Never in my life had I watched porn on my laptop!_

_“How would you know Sherlock? You’re sexual life is as about as exciting as a brick wall!” With this comment I left to go fetch myself something to eat from the fridge. I opened it to find a human leg and two eyes sat on the shelf staring at me. “FOR GODSAKE SHERLOCK! YOU NEED TO GET RID OF THESE BLOODY BODY PARTS!” I screamed from the kitchen._

_“John by shouting at me, it won’t make me or give me the motivation to actually remove them.” Sherlock replied with his backchat. But it was true! He had to get rid of all those bloody body parts! Not only was it horrible to look at but the smell was horrific! Also it was just plainly unhygienic! I wouldn’t stand for it and I doubt Mrs Hudson would of as well! "If you don't I will!" I threatened him._

_With this in his mind, he sprung up from the sofa like a jack-in-a-box protesting I not. "I'll remove it I promise!" Hm. promise! Sherlock’s promises were as helpful as a paper bag on a rainy day! Useless and always breaks! I knew he would not stand by his word. He never did! As much as I had faith in him, I could never believe his promises._

_"Like you will!" I stormed out of the kitchen and retreated to my room. Over the course of that night, I pondered over thoughts had haunted me for months and was occasionally disturbed by the sound of music coming from the living room._

_Later that night something happened that I really did not expect. I was lying on my bed with my eyes focused on the screen of my laptop when a sudden knock at my bedroom door startled me. “John?” The deep voice called. “John, its Sherlock.”_

_“Nah really I thought Mrs Hudson had had a sex change and was now standing at my door!” Sherlock didn’t reply to this comment. He was trying to work out whether or not I was being sarcastic. “Sarcasm Sherlock! Of course I know it’s you! What do you want?”_

_“I want to talk to you!” He replied through the door._

_“Really?! I thought you just wanted to stand there staring at my door calling my name all day!” He again didn’t respond. “Again sarcasm Sherlock!”_

_“John please! It’s urgent!” Sherlock demanded. I sighed, got up and opened the door._

_Sherlock barged his way in. “Come in why don’t you!”_

_“John I’ve been thinking…”_

_“Oh and why doesn’t that surprise me?” Sherlock shot me a look like he was about to kill me. “Sorry. Do go on”_

_“Elisa.” He said._

_“Elisa the pathologist at Bart’s?”_

_“No Elisa Doolittle, Yes of course bloody Elisa the pathologist at Bart’s” Oh so he DID recognise sarcasm!_

_“Surprised you know who Elisa Doolittle is to be quite honest anyway what wrong with Elisa?”_

_“New to the job, slightly nervous, couldn’t look at the body when I was deducing, it has to be her!” Sherlock had confused me completely now._

_“What has to be her? Sherlock you’re making no sense what so ever!”_

_“Oh come on John even someone like you can get this!” What the hell was he trying to imply? That I was stupid?!_

_“Someone like me?” I quizzed_

_“You know what I mean”_

_“No. No I don’t know what you mean Sherlock please, feel free to enlighten me!” The tone in my voice had gone from calm to slightly annoyed._

_“Well... I mean… someone… not like me” He was trying to save himself from trouble but it really wasn’t working._

_“Someone not like you? Someone who’s intelligence isn’t as high as Mount Everest? Someone who thinks they are ‘the top dog’? Someone who believe that the London police are constantly out of their depth?” By now I was stood up staring him dead in the eye. Although he was several inches taller than me, his height had never made him more intimidating._

_“John. I never meant for it to sound like that”_

_“Hm you sure?!” We stopped and just stared at each other for a moment both, I think, trying to take in our little, as Mrs Hudson would put it, domestic. “I’m sorry, I’m just over tired”_

_“No it’s… its fine. It’s just, no-one’s stood up to me like that before, not even Mycroft and he… he always believes that he’s right!” I sat back down on the bed to give Sherlock a chance to fully take in what I said._

_“So what does Elisa have to do with this case?” I asked_

_“Brand new pathologist in just a couple of days after the murder occurred? With Molly writ...” Sherlock paused wide eyed and open mouth. “Molly”_

_“What?! What about her? Is she the murder?! What do you mean Sherlock?!” Just as I finished my sentence, Sherlock bounded out the door and headed down the stairs. I chased after him. “Sherlock?! What does Molly have to do with any other this?!”_


	8. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Seven

**_Later that night_ **

_“Lestrade we need you! It’s urgent! Molly is in danger!” Sherlock practically screamed down the phone._

_“What? What do you mean Molly is in danger?” I hear his reply._

_“_ _Annie and Isobel Worthing! One of them posed as ‘Elisa’ Molly’s stand in at Bart’s. She told us that Molly was taking time off for stress. I know her Lestrade, Molly would never do that!” Sherlock rushed as we made our way to St Bart’s._

_“So what do we do?” Lestrade asked. By now he was on loud speaker._

_“Simple. Detective Inspector, you have an arrest to make! Get to Bart’s NOW!” He ordered ending the call._

_“So why would they take Molly? I mean what could she possibly do? She’s just a pathologist for god sake!”_

_“Just a pathologist?! Molly’s not just a pathologist John she’s…” Sherlock cut himself off mid-sentence, as if he was about to say something that would make me think otherwise of him._

_“She’s what, Sherlock?” I asked him._

_“Nothing. Doesn’t matter.” He may be saying this but his eyes were saying otherwise. He still cared. Sherlock Holmes actually cared!_

_“Okay. Well what do they want with her?” I tried to move the conversation on._

_“She probably knew something about the girls. Or about the father. Annie and Isobel obviously couldn’t take it so they took her, then one of them…”_

_“One of them took Molly’s place, posed as her replacement pathologist whilst she was ‘off due to street’ should have spotted it sooner” Sherlock said in frustration._

_“Yeah but you did.” I replied._

_“Did what?” I had finally managed to confuse the great Sherlock Holmes! It was actually doable!_

_“You realised something was wrong. When we were at the morgue. You said you thought there was something wrong” Sherlock turned his head slowly round to me like an hour._

_“John Watson have I ever told you how brilliant you can be?” He seemed pleased with the fact I had remembered._

_“No you just tend to insult my intellect then I make tea and everything is fine again!” I joked at him but tried to sound serious as well._

_Sherlock laughed at my comment before returning back to his normal, serious face. “Seriously though John. Molly is in danger and if I can’t save her, I… I don’t know how I could live with myself” So he did still care. It was sweet in a sickly way._

_“I know. But we will. We always do” I tried to comfort him._

_“Not always” He muttered and turned around to look out the window again._

_We arrived at Bart’s fairly quickly. Sherlock and I jumped out of the cab and ran as fast as possible into the hospital and down to the morgue. We found Lestrade waiting outside for us two._

_“She’s inside I checked with the staff on the front desk. Apparently she’s been there all night” Lestrade informed us._

_“Right. Leave this to me” Sherlock strongly suggested. He went to take a step forward before Lestrade caught his arm._

_“Sherlock. You said it yourself. You’re not a hero. Don’t go pretending you are. I know how you feel about Molly…”_

_“Don’t test me with feelings or sentiment Lestrade. You damn well know it doesn’t work on me. Yes I may have felt something in the past, but now that’s gone. That’s history and in case you didn’t notice, history does not tend to repeat itself. You are right however, I’m not a hero. Hero’s don’t exist only people who pretend to be them do, and for your information they never get very far with anything! Hence why the police are so GOD DAMN RUBBISH AT THEIR JOB! Now I suggest, Detective Inspector that you let go of my arm so I can actually do my damn job and save Molly!” Never before had I heard Sherlock have this sort of outburst._

_“Fine.” Lestrade through his arm out of his hand._

_“Thank you.” Sherlock nodded towards Lestrade. He barged into the morgue with a calm look in his face. “Ah. Elisa, how are you?”_

_Elisa looked startled as to why we were there. “Mr. Holmes, Dr. Watson, what a pleasant surprise. How can I help?”_

_“Oh I don’t know maybe you can first tell us where one Molly Hooper is for starters” Sherlock was getting angrier and angrier by the second. I thought about holding him back, but I knew I would only come out worse in that situation._

_“I told you. She’s taking time off due to stress” Elisa insisted that this was the truth._

_“Yes I know. But I also know that you’ve been lying through your teeth for the last few days. I also know Molly Hooper and I know that she would never take time off for stress. She’s too committed.” By now Sherlock was bordering becoming sassy instead of clever. Sherlock Holmes- sassy? Now there was one thing I had witnessed before and it wasn’t the most attractive thing I have ever seen._

_“Mr Holmes then I must say your reputation isn’t all that it’s made out to be because I am telling you now. SHE’S. ON. LEAVE. OF. ABSENCE. DUE. TO. STRESS! Do you want me to spell it out for you?”_

_“DAMN IT ELISA I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR GAMES!” Sherlock screeched thumping his fist down onto the slab hard._

_“Oh but Mr. Holmes, isn’t your saying ‘The Game is on?’” The sass in her eyes had increased dramatically. Sherlock stared at her hard as if he was going to attach her. “Ergh fine, I give in! Yes of course I bloody know where she is. I had to do something to get her out of your way. She really likes you, you know?”_

_“More than you can imagine. So now we know that you know where she is, care to tell us?” Sherlock quizzed her about Molly’s whereabouts._

_“Oh of course not, Mr. Holmes, that would be playing fair and I’m not sort of the person who plays fair. You know you could always beat it out of me? I know you have a thing for riding crops and whips, Ms Adler told me” Adler. A name Sherlock hated more than life itself. A woman. THE woman._

_“How do you know her?” Sherlock’s eyes widened with the sound of her name._

_“Well let’s just say we’ve done business before. The less details you know the better I say it would be for you small, innocent mind” Elisa was now teasing Sherlock._

_“Who are you?” Sherlock jumped straight to the question we had all be wondering._

_“Oh I’m surprised you didn’t work it out.”_

_“I had a hunch, but I guess now I’m wrong” I looked at Sherlock in confusion._

_“Wrong? Sherlock what do you mean wrong?” I asked._

_“Of course the two Worthing sister’s didn’t kill their Stepfather. Too much money. As long as he was alive and raking in the money, the sisters could continue living off of him, getting what they want. As soon as he died, well murdered, they were automatically taken into questioning and suspected of murdering him to get all his money. Truth was once he had died, they would be left with nothing. No-one bothered to question the mother because they thought she disappeared long before Jack Worthing died. Truth was…”_

_“Truth was she never disappeared before he died. She killed him and then disappeared to cover her tracks. But she was able to make it seem like she had been gone for ages because she knew that the daughters would cover for her. Now you’ve worked that out Mr. Holmes, there’s one remaining question you’re still itching to ask me” Elisa finished off Sherlock’s story for him._

_“How?” He asked._

_“How did I do it and you not notice? Well that was easy really, just needed to get the one person who mattered to you out of the way”_

_“Sorry ‘how did I do it’ did you just say?” I asked Elisa in shock._

_“Is he really this dim-witted? Or have you made him act like this to make you seem better at your job?” She directed that at Sherlock. “Yes of course how did I do it?! Has it honestly taken you this long to realise who I am?!” Elisa stared at dead in the eye. I tried not the break the connection so I just turned my head slightly towards Sherlock with my eyes still locked onto hers._

_“Sherlock. Who is she?” I asked._

_“Oh we’ve met her before John. How can you forget? A couple of months ago at Irene house, when we were trying to collect the photos for Mycroft” Sherlock informed me. I think I was starting to get the picture of who this actually was now._

_“How the face now, Father Holmes?” She asked Sherlock._

_“Wait, Kate?! As in Kate the maid? Irene Adler’s maid?!” I shot this quickly at her._

_“Hello again John” Kate said with a smile._

_“Wait so you made Elisa up?” I asked._

_“No. She didn’t John. Elisa is her middle name. Katherine Elisa Worthing or better now known as Kate Glendenning” Sherlock introduced her._

_“Well done Mr. Holmes. Very clever” Katherine applauded him on his deduction._

_“So she’s Annie and Isobel’s mother?!” Lestrade chirped up and asked._

_“Yes, now we’ve finally finished the family tree can we move onto the more pressing matter at hand?” Sherlock leaved over the slab pressing his palms firmly down on it. “Now you tell me. WHERE. IS. MOLLY. HOOPER?! And remember, I can detect a lie more easily than a lion can detect his prey” His eyes were like fire. It was like staring into the pits of hell._

_“Mr. Holmes, I’m feeling kind and in the mood for a deal.”_

_“I don’t deal with the devil” Sherlock snapped back._

_“That’s not what I’ve heard.” Again she stared at him. “Now I am willing to tell you where Miss Hooper is, if you release me of all charges AND I get to walk away from here knowing you won’t ever come for me again.”_

_This deal was something Sherlock had never wanted. He has to pick between a friend, and possibly more, or letting a criminal walk away. His face because neutral again. He understood what he must do. But of course, he was Sherlock Holmes, by my deductions he had a cunning plan up his sleeve._

_“Sherlock?” I whispered. “Sherlock accept the deal, we need to save Molly!”_

_“I know and I’ve got a plan” Behind his back, Sherlock started typing something into his phone. From what I could tell it looked like a text. “I accept, now tell me where she is!” Sherlock had slide his phone back into his trouser pocket._

_“How should I put this…? She’s enjoying the sights of the city” Sherlock seemed to know straight away what she meant because the next thing I knew, Lestrade, Sherlock and I were running flight and flight up until we reached the rooftop of St Bart’s._

_“MOLLY?!” Sherlock screamed. “MOLLY IT’S SHERLOCK WHERE ARE YOU!”_

_“SHERLOCK?! SHERLOCK HELP!” As soon as he heard her voice, he ran over to the figure who was tied to a chair and lying with her head over the edge of the roof._

_“OH MY GOD MOLLY! Molly it’s okay, it’s okay him here. I’m here” Sherlock soothed Molly as he untied her. He pushed the chair away from her. Pulling Molly closer to him and away from the edge, they shared a long and passionate hug. “I’m sorry Molly. I’m sorry for all the hurt and pain and danger I have caused you over the past few years. I’m sorry”_

_“It’s okay. I forgive you” She whispered._

_“Sherlock?! What about Katherine?” I asked with urgency in my voice._

_“As I told you John, I have a plan. I sent a text to Mycroft telling him to set trackers on one Katherine Elisa Worthing. As you know, Mycroft is practically the British government, he can set trackers on anyone at anytime from anywhere possible.” He explained._

_“And what bloody good is that going to do?!”_

_“John? With trackers on her, I can stop her whenever I need to. At the moment she has nothing we need”_

_“She almost killed Molly for god sake!” I practically screamed at Sherlock._

_“John really, it’s fine. I’m fine” Molly protested._

_“Fine. Fine. You know what you’re doing! Now can we please all just get home! It’s freezing cold on this bloody rooftop!” I exclaimed._

_“I’ll take Molly home.” Offered Lestrade._

_“Thank you” Molly said, slowly getting up and walking off with Greg._

_“John? Can I speak to you?” Sherlock asked me. I was probably in trouble for something._

_“Look whatever I’ve done, I apologise in advance.” I thought I’d get that out of the way._

_“No John, listen. I’m not really sure what’s going on with me at the moment. I feel like I’m changing and quite frankly I don’t like it. I’m starting to feel things I never felt before and memories of feelings that I have purposely dismissed. John I don’t know what’s going on but whatever I say to you that you may not find appropriate or may take out of context, I want to apologise now, in advance” Sorry. Was I hearing this correctly?! Not only was Sherlock FEELING but he was also apologising for it! God it was like Christmas! Though, not how we spent last Christmas. That involved us tracking down Irene Adler and me losing my girlfriend._

_“It’s fine. I understand. Sociopaths don’t feel so when feelings come crashing down on them, they don’t really know what to expect. Its fine, its good” With this we headed back to 221b._


	9. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Eight

Sherlock and I started to get a lot more cases coming through as the year continued on. As winter turned to spring and spring turned to summer, we seemed more and more busy.

I tried my luck with dating again, however I couldn’t seem to find the right person. I guess I was just attracted to a certain type. Sherlock was still single, as he has always been. However more and more girls seemed to fall for him. He didn’t try his luck with Molly again. She was in and out of relationship nearly every month. I guess he just didn’t want a broken heart. Wait a minute I’m about Sherlock Holmes here! His heart was as cold as ice. He never cared. He only ever cared for Molly. Well that’s what I thought anyway.

Out of all the cases we had possibly ever faced, this one baffled me this most. The curious case of Miss Grace Allerd.


	10. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Nine

**_June 27 th 2011_ **

_My night’s sleep was probably the best one I’ve had in a long time. Except the rude disturbance which awoke me at 7:30 this morning. Loud knocking from the front door startled me. I fell out of my bed with a loud thump. “Boys! You’ve got a client!” Mrs Hudson called up the stairs to me and into the other room at the end of the corridor downstairs to Sherlock._

_Sherlock ran to the door to find a young girl in her late 20’s, red eyed and sobbing in the doorway. “Sherlock?” She whimpered. “Oh Sherlock” she collapsed into Sherlock’s hugging him and crying into his chest._

_I was stood staring at Sherlock throughout all this not really knowing what to say. Who was she? How did Sherlock know her?_

_“It’s okay Grace. I’m here” He said gently and quickly placing his lips on the top of her head._

_I gave Sherlock a confused look. “Who is she?” I silently mouthed to him in which he replied with a simple eye roll with Grace still in his arms._

_“Come on let’s get you sat down” Sherlock let go of Grace and helped her to the sofa._

_“So, you two clearly know each other. Care to explain how?” I quizzed Sherlock sitting down in my normal space by the fire._

_“We were at University together. Her father was our professor. That’s all you need to know” Sherlock quickly said. There was clearly more to this story then what he was making out to be, but now wasn’t the time to question him about it._

_“Sherlock. Please you need to help me” Grace said in a panicked tone._

_“I will now tell me what’s wrong” He replied gripping hold of Grace’s hand in reassurance._

_“Father. He’s disappeared. He never came home from work last night. I rung the university and they said he wasn’t there. I’ve checked all his usual place and nothing! Sherlock I’m scared. It’s not like him to just vanish. You know what he’s like he would never do anything like this!” Grace was now becoming hysterical. Sherlock moved closer to her, pulling her in close and holding her tight._

_“I know. We will find him I promise you! Where are you staying at the moment?” Sherlock asked._

_“Nowhere. I’ve been driving since the crack of dawn.” She replied moving slightly away from Sherlock to look him in the eyes._

_“Don’t bother booking a hotel, you’re staying with us” Sherlock sprung up from the sofa and started walking into the kitchen._

_“Wait. Sherlock? Where is she going to sleep? If you remember we only have 2 bedrooms and both are occupied!” I hastening spoke._

_“Grace can have my room and I’ll sleep on the sofa if I must.” He was determined to have her round._

_“Oh no I can’t do that” Grace protested._

_“No you can and you will. No questions asked. If John has a problem with it he can speak to me about it” Sherlock turned and directed his eye contact at me. Why would I have a problem with a girl staying in our flat? Of course I don’t I mean yeah it’s weird that she’ll be sleeping in Sherlock’s bed. A girl I’ve never met or even heard of before sleeping in my friend’s bed. I guess I’ll have to deal with it. I smiled at Sherlock sarcastically._

_“Sherlock can I have a word?” I said slightly annoyed by his decision. I got up and walked over to him. We both walked into Sherlock’s bedroom, shutting the door behind us._

_Sherlock sighed. “What?”_

_“Who the hell is she Sherlock? You’ve just brought a total stranger into our flat that I’ve never met before and then just happened to invite her to stay! So you tell me now! Who. Is. She?!” I ranted to Sherlock in a hushed tone._

_“John. You have to trust me. Grace is someone I was at university with. Her father was her professor. That’s all you need to know” Sherlock battled against me._

_“No. Not this time. No, you’re going to tell me everything starting with how you know her and don’t you dare just say ‘Oh from Uni’ I want to know how you REALLY know her!” I gave Sherlock a furious look._

_He sighed once again. “Me and Grace… We were in a relationship. But things got difficult so we decided to end it.” Sherlock was finally opening up to me._

_“But I thought you said ever since that girl when you were 17, you never bothered with relationship?” I asked._

_“Yes well I lied, if you hadn’t figured, that’s what I do best. Stops people getting hurt” Sherlock was annoyed with me I could tell. I unlocked the door and left. Upon entering the living room I found Grace unconscious on the sofa._

_“Jesus Christ! SHERLOCK!” I called. I ran over and checked her pulse. “Grace? Grace can you hear me?” I asked the unresponsive body._

_“John?! John what is…?” Sherlock came bounding into the living room but stopped as soon as he saw Grace unconscious. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped a little before running over and practically pushing me out the way to be at her side. “Oh my god Grace! Please wake up! Grace! It’s Sherlock say something!” He smoothed over her cheek and pressed his lips on her forehead again. I didn’t really know what to feel or what to say. Was I mad at him because he had just shoved me out of the way like he would do to the morning newspaper? Or did I understand slightly how he was feeling?_

_“Sherlock. Give her some space. Come on” I grabbed hold of his shoulders and tried to pull him up. Instead he just shrugged me off, turned around and started to walk slowly towards me with anger in his eyes._

_“What is your problem, John?” Oh dear… once again Mr Drama queen thought I had a bloody problem. “You have been funny with me ever since Grace arrived this morning! So tell me. What. Is. Your. Problem?!” He looked like he was about to punch me. But I couldn’t tell him. I wasn’t jealous exactly, I just wasn’t used to this side of Sherlock._

_“Sherlock. Please. Just, calm down” I put my hands up in front of me for protection. I’m not sure why, I knew Sherlock too well. I knew he would never hit me._

_“NO JOHN I WILL NOT! YOU TELL ME NOW! TELL ME NOW YOU SELFISH BASTARD! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? ARE YOU JEALOUS THAT I’M GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ATTENTION FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF YOU?” He was screaming at me now!_

_“WHY THE HELL WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF A SELFISH, RUDE, INCONSIDERABLE SOCIOPATH WHO THINKS OF NO ONE BUT HIS BLOODY SELF!” I screamed back at him._

_“Oh so I think of MYSELF! If I constantly think of myself John, then why did I save you from Moriarty blowing you up?! Why did I save you from those Chinese smugglers? Hmm? Because THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS DO JOHN! THEY LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER!”_

_“YOU DON’T HAVE FRIENDS SHERLOCK! YOU CONSTANTLY REMIND ME OF THAT FACT AND I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL LIKE CRAP BECAUSE OF IT! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU…”I stopped myself before I got too deep emotionally_

_“WHAT? WHAT JOHN? HOW MUCH I WHAT, MEAN TO YOU? YOU KNOW I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT SORT OF STUFF JOHN! LEARN TO DEAL WITH THAT OR JUST LEAVE!” How dare he speak to me like this! I knew he was upset about Grace but he didn’t have to take it out on me! I had to take action to stop myself from punching him. I stared at him before grabbing my jacket and leaving 221b. I didn’t bother shutting the door behind me. “FOR GOD SAKE!” I heard Sherlock shout. “JOHN! JOHN COME BACK HERE! I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN…”_

_“NO SHERLOCK! YOU NEVER MEAN IT DO YOU? I’M FED UP OF PLAYING THIS GAME ANYMORE! IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU! IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND IT ALWAYS WILL BE! SO I’M DOING WHAT YOU WANT. LEAVING!” I started to run down the stairs._

_“JOHN! I DON’T WANT THAT AT ALL!” He screamed back._

_“WELL YOU CLEARLY DO! OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN’T HAVE SAID IT WOULD YOU?!” I had had enough of Sherlock. I had to go._

_I DON’T WANT YOU TO LEAVE AND I DON’T WANT TO LOOSE THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS WORLD WHO CAN ACTUALLY DEAL WITH ME” I stopped at the bottom of the stairs for a moment. I could feel his warmth on my back. He was only a step or two behind me._

_I turned around and looked up at him. “Goodbye Sherlock.” I said bluntly before storming down the stairs, out the door and slamming it shut. I continued walking until I the corner of the road. I had no clue where I was going to go. And then it came to me. If I went to Bart’s and spoke with Molly. Maybe that would annoy him._

_I didn’t want to take a cab, gave me too little time to think about things. I decided to walk to Bart’s which was about 20 minutes away on foot. I walked along with my hands deep in my trouser pockets. I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out to see the familiar number texting me again._

**_‘John please come home. I’m sorry._ **

**_SH’_ **

_No. I wasn’t going to give in this time. I wasn’t going to reply or go back. He didn’t deserve my time anymore. Sherlock had made his point clear. He didn’t want me around anymore now he had Miss Perfect Pants up stairs laying on our sofa. I wasn’t trying to get him away from her! Well I was but for medical reason but of course he took it the wrong way and now look where I am!_

_My phone buzzed again._

**_‘John. I need you. Please come home. You know I’m sorry._ **

**_SH’_ **

_I ignored it again. And I was planning on ignoring him until I felt ready to go back and accept his apology, which knowing me would only be in a couple of hours. Sherlock knew this too. In fact he probably knew where I would be. He knew this or Scotland Yard would be the only places I would retreat to. To be honest it wouldn’t surprise me if he was on his way here now!_

_I always questioned myself about why I always go back to him. He ruins a relationship of mine, I don’t speak to him for a whole 2 days but go back to him. He gets me kidnapped, I still go back to him. As a doctor, I couldn’t diagnose what was wrong with me. I still can’t! He was an arrogant man who was selfish, untrustworthy, and manipulative and a liar! Yet I always go back to him. Well not this. No. He can come to me instead!_

_I arrived at Bart’s and made my way to the lab that I was told Molly was in. I knocked on the door 3 times before hearing her voice. “Come in” She called. I entered the room and shut the door behind me. “Oh hello John. Where’s Sherlock?” She asked. She clearly still had feelings for him!_

_“He’s… err… we… we’re not exactly talking at the moment” I put it bluntly to her. I went and sat on the stool opposite to where she was working. I placed my phone on the desk as I always did._

_“Oh no. What’s happened this time?” Molly asked with slight concern in her voice._

_“His ex” I replied._

_“His ex?” She sounded confused and yet a little upset._

_“Yeah. Grace Allerd or something like that” I said to her whilst playing about with the piece of scrap paper that was sat on the table._

_“Grace? As in Grace from his university?” I looked up at her. I couldn’t believe that Molly knew about her and I didn’t!_

_“Oh great. One more person knows something about my best friend that I don’t anything else you want to share with me about Sherlock? Is he related to the queen at all? Does he have a fetish for musicals?” I sarcastically said. I went back to playing with the piece of paper. Molly’s face turned a very pale grey colour. Her lips became dry and her eyes widened. “Molly? Molly what is it? What do you know? Tell me” I hesitantly spoke._

_“John. Grace Allerd died 2 years ago. I know because I did the post mortem on her and put her file through. She’s defiantly, one hundred percent dead. Whoever that is with Sherlock now, is NOT Grace Allerd” What did she mean Grace was dead? And if that wasn’t Grace, then who was it?_

_“Molly? Please tell me you are joking!” I said with urgency. I got up and moved round to the side of the desk she was working on._

_“I wish I could John. But Sherlock is in serious danger! Whoever that is, there’s high chance that they want him dead for some reason.” Her eyes started to tear up. Mine widened. Sherlock was in danger. We had to do something, we couldn’t just watch him die. We were both scared for what this person could do to my friend and her lover._


	11. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Ten

Later that day

Molly and I rushed to 221b as quickly as we could. The whole journey there was Molly explaining to me who Grace used to be to Sherlock and how she died. Turns out she was the girl Sherlock had watched die before his eyes. He was heartbroken after. 

I ran into 221 and up the stairs "SHERLOCK?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs most probably disturbing Mrs Hudson from her nap.

"John? What's the matter?" Sherlock replied very calmly. 

"Where's Grace?" I asked hesitantly

"She's gone to the shops, why?" He seemed confused by why I was asking her whereabouts. He had every right to be too!

"She's a fake" The truth slipped out of my lips quicker than I wanted to.

"John what are you on about? Of course she's not! I think I know Grace when I see her. Just because you've never met her doesn't mean..."

"GRACE ALLERD IS DEAD SHERLOCK. SHE DIED 2 YEARS AGO!!" I screamed at him. I closed my eyes realising what I had just said in my outburst. 

"Oh.... I see what this is... You're jealous aren't you?!" He confronted me and then turns his attention to Molly. "You. You did this didn't you? Set me up because you knew that I could never love you! Molly Hooper I never knew you could stoop so low!" How could he blame Molly for this?! 

Molly's face was burning red with anger and rage. She quickly pulled her fist back and swung for Sherlock, hitting his cheek hard. "HOW DARE YOU BLAME ME FOR THIS SHERLOCK HOLMES! HOW DARE YOU USE THAT AGAINST ME!" Molly stood there with tears brewing in her eyes.

"You can't stand there and blame her for this Sherlock! It's true! Grace Allerd is dead! She has been for years so whoever that was, was most defiantly NOT her!" I stood up for Molly. He had no right. He was being the selfish bastard he was! 

"Oh it was you then?" Sherlock was being blinded by old love. 

"SHERLOCK SHE'S DEAD AND YOU KNOW IT!" I screamed at him. Why was he refusing to believe this was true? Sherlock never questioned his own judgment of people, but when someone else comes along with the truth he suddenly decided to blank it out completely.

"THAT IS HER JOHN! SHE IS ALIVE AND WELL SO SHUT UP!" His anger with me was reaching points I had never seen or witnessed before. His face turning rouge from screaming at me. His pupils re-tracking deeper into his sea blue eyes. His lips quivering at every word being screeched from his mouth. Never before had I seen Sherlock like this. Raging with fury at me. I hated it.

"Sherlock please just calm down! You're scaring me!" Molly whimpered from beside me. 

"Oh Molly... Sweet, naïve Molly... You don't like your Sherlock like this? Burning with rage. Hot from anger... thought you'd find it attractive on a sociopath!" Why was he being like this? Molly had done nothing wrong yet he was blaming her for this all. 

But that's when I noticed. Sherlock had always told me not just look but observe. His shirt was crinkled slightly around the shoulders. His hair slightly messy. Grace had been trying to seduce him. 

"SHERLOCK! We came here to stop her from possibly killing you! But by the way you're looking it seems you had everything under control!" The words sputtered out of my moth quicker than I wanted them too. 

"John, what are you on about?!" He seemed confused. 

"Crinkled shirt around the shoulders, Messy hair clearly she was trying to get in your pants! See Sherlock anyone can deduce! YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL! YOU'RE ORDINARY!" What had I just done? I had just told someone who had been my friend, who had saved my life on countless occasions that he wasn't special. Some friend I am! With this comment made I stormed back out of 221b. I couldn't face at the moment but I also couldn't let his life be in danger. I had to do something. "Molly? I need your help!" I turned to my temporary assistant. No matter what we had to protect him. 

Molly and I headed back to Bart's. Rain had started falling from the skies just as we were walking into the hospital. By the time we got up to the lab, I could see that it have intensified. "John what are we going to do? Without Sherlock we have no chance of getting her! And if we don't he'll be in danger and could die!" I walked over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders to try and calm her down.

"Molly. I have been on countless cases. I have been shot at. I have been kidnapped and mistaking for Sherlock. I have learnt so much from him that I think we can managed this just by ourselves! We have Scotland Yard who will help. We have the homeless network who can help" This made me feel more nervous then I cared to admit. We were about to put our faith not only in each other's hands but also in the hands of a police force in whom Sherlock frowns upon and a hundred tramps.

"Scotland Yard will defiantly help. If Lestrade finds out his little star is in danger then he'll be only happy to help." She had a point there. Even though Lestrade detested Sherlock at times, we both knew he would be willing to help. 

"We have Mycroft as well. Even HE can't face the thought of his own little brother being in danger I'll give him a call now" I slid my phone out of my pocket and pushed his number into my phone and called it. 

"Ah John. What's he done this time?" Mycroft answered. 

"Mycroft. Sherlock's in danger"

"Sherlock's always in danger John, you know this. He lives for the thrill of the chase. But if you feel the need, please enlighten me to why he's in danger?" 

I quickly explained to him the situation that had occurred. "Grace Allerd? Yes she did die." Mycroft had confirmed what we already knew.

"Did he ever find out about her death Mycroft?" I asked.

"Well, yes. I should think so considering he was there when she died!" This was new information to us. 

"Oh of course! I remember now! He brought her into the hospital. She was badly hurt. I didn't know him at the time. I only got a glimpse of a tall man, where a hero like cloak" She must have been describing Sherlock.

"Yes he did. He was heartbroken" Mycroft's voice erupted from my phone. 

"Then why is he insisting that this is her?" I asked seriously confused. If he had been there at her death then why did he think that this stranger was her? Was Sherlock Holmes blinded by love that he couldn't really see who it was behind a mask?

"Shit! Mycroft it's a code yellow!" Molly screeched down the phone. What was she on about when she said code yellow?

"Code yellow? What's code yellow?" I asked even more confused than what I originally was. 

"Mycroft, Scotland Yard and Bart's have this coding system. If Sherlock is in danger we represent the levels of danger he's in by colours. Similar to that of the army" She had a point there. We had a basic coding system in the army. 

"So what's yellow on the system?"

"Yellow means he's in a significant amount of danger. We're not talking Jim Moriarty danger we're talking a little less than that" Mycroft's voice beamed from the phone again. Jim Moriarty's name sent a shiver down my spine. The bastard has tried blow me up for a bit of fun only a couple of month previous. If Sherlock hadn't of been there, I would have died. One more reason why I needed to save his life.

"So what are we going to do?" I asked. I always thought that my cases would be with Sherlock. But now I was alone. Well not exactly alone. I still had Molly and Scotland Yard, I was just without the brains of the operation. 

"You are going to keep Sherlock away from her. I'm going to send more trained people do deal with this imposter. John do whatever it takes to keep him away understood!" 'Whatever it takes' Those 3 words circled around my brain for moments. How the hell was I meant to keep him from going near her?! "JOHN?!" The voice at the end of the line screeched. 

"Yes! Okay!" I replied remember we were in mid conversation.

"Molly help him will you?" Mycroft asked Molly to assist me.

"Of course" Knowing that Sherlock would be in safe hands, Mycroft hung up.

"How the hell are we going to keep him from wandering off Molly?! He's flipping Sherlock Holmes for god sake!" I had no idea on how to control him. After nearly a year of cases, a year of heads and other body parts being stuffed in the fridge and cupboards, a year of friendship I still hadn't the faintest idea what he was like. He seemed to change his mood so often that I had lost count of what annoys him and what doesn't. What he likes and what he didn't.

"Get him a case of course! We need to make one up or dinner or something" Molly's voice was frantic with frustration and fright. She was right though. We needed a way to distract him whilst Mycroft caught this lady.

"What though? He can spot a fake case from a mile away!" Panic flooded through me quickly. My hands became sweaty with fear at the thought of lying to him. 

We spent countless hours thinking and jotting down notes trying to come up with a convincing case. Finally we had something. 

Sitting down with a cup of coffee each, we began to piece it all together. "So how are you going to distract him?" Molly asked me.

"He's not going to" The words from a ghostly figure at the door spoke. His voice deep with danger and mystery. Why was he here? Why had Sherlock come?

"Shit... What the hell are you doing here? Don't you have a girlfriend to get back too?" I bluntly turning back towards Molly. 

"I know" What did he mean he knew? What did he knew? That he was an obnoxious asshole who deserved the biggest punch in the face going? "I know that's not really Grace" He answered my unasked question.

"WHAT?!" Both Molly and I screeched jumping out of our seats.

"Sherlock. Have you known all along?" I asked, slightly annoyed at his choice of words previously. 

"Possibly..." He replied. There was a slight hint of fear lurking in his eyes. He knew I was pissed off at him and was probably going to punch him.

"You. Cock." I replied. "You absolute..."

"Yes I know" Sherlock rudely interrupted.

"COCK!" My voice raised and the word echoed around the room. Molly stood looking like she was about to slap Sherlock... In which she did.

Sherlock stood gawking at the fact his face had just been abused by Molly's hand. But out of all honesty if she hadn't of done it, I would have! 

"Okay I know you're both upset..."

"Oh upset doesn't even begin to describe it!" I glared at him.

"John listen you need to understand why I did this..." He began to speak again. But neither me nor Molly were interested. Once again he had played us and lied to us. Although it should have been expected by now. He was Sherlock after all. 

I sat down on a stool on one side of the desk Molly and I had just been working on with my arms folded in anger. 'I suppose I should hear him out. After all he might have a half decent excuse this time!' I thought to myself. I stared at him for a moment before speaking myself. "Fine go on..."

Sherlock sighed and sat down at the desk also, his elbows resting on the table and with his large hands steepled under his chin. "I knew she was coming. Mycroft had informed me of it. I didn't tell you because I needed you to believe it was really her. Her real name is Christine Jiles. She works with Moriarty" That name sent a shiver down my spine. Moriarty. He had caused us so much trouble recently. Thought to be honest it wasn't surprising that it was him. He has seemed to grow obsessed with Sherlock lately. I just sat and stared at him. Unknown to what I should believe or not to believe. "John please say something the staring is very un-comfortable" Sherlock muttered. I ignored his wish and continued to stare.

"I believe you" A voice mumbled from behind me. I turned around a little to see Molly hovering above my shoulder looking at Sherlock.

"I...I'm sorry what?" Sherlock seemed confused which wasn't a first.

"I believe you" She repeated softly. Her eyes locked onto his. "You may have hurt me, broken my heart and called me naive, but that doesn't stop me from believing you" Sherlock looked at her with them blue tinted eyes.

"And what about you?" Sherlock turned to me. "Can my blogger forgive me?" His blogger. The nickname I had now taken on. 

I gave a shrug not verbally wanting to admit that I forgave him and believed him. 

Sherlock smirked at us a little before jumping out of his chair. "The game is on then!"


	12. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Eleven

_**30 minutes later** _

_We were all back at 221b Baker Street. Sherlock had covered the wall in maps and pieces of paper with scribbles on. I dare 'n ask what they were, knowing I'd be given a lecture. Whilst in my absents he hadn't been idle. Once again Sherlock had been hard at work trying to solve this case. The case of why Christine Jiles had impersonated Grace. Logically it was simple- she wanted to get to Sherlock. But he didn't just want to stop at that conclusion. He had to observe all the facts. Even the ones that may have seemed impossible could have been true. Sherlock threw his coat and scarf over a chair and paced back and forth in front of the wall. A look of pure concentration with a hint of anger was upon his face. He kept rubbing the back of his head as he always did in times like this._

_Molly was sat on a chair at the table watching Sherlock as he paced. She still cared that was obvious. The look in her eyes, her posture, and the way she spoke around him… Jesus Christ… I was starting to sound like Sherlock. Her eyes never left his body. Her gaze followed him with every step he took._

_I sat down in my armchair staring into space. So many thoughts ran through my mind. Afghanistan. Sherlock. Molly. Sherlock. Harry. Sherlock. The Woman. Sherlock. Baskerville. Sherlock. Moriarty. Sherlock. Everything seemed to link back to him. I mean sure he wasn’t there in Afghanistan but I was making me think about when we first met..._

_‘Afghanistan or Iraq?’_  
 _‘Sorry?’_  
 _‘Which was it- Afghanistan or Iraq? Iraq… Iraq… Iraq…’_

_“JOHN!” Sherlock screamed my name. I quickly snapped out my daydream to find Molly and Sherlock staring at me. “Well?” Sherlock asked._

_“Well what?” I was confused to as what was going on._

_“Are you ready?”_

_“Ready?” I must have blanked out a lot of Sherlock’s conversation._

_“Just get your jacket on and come with me” Sherlock instructed me. It was like he was one of my commanders from the army. After putting my jacket on, I followed him out of the door. “Where are we going Sherlock?” I asked considering I wasn’t paying attention to anything he was saying earlier._

_“Did you not listen to me earlier when I was going through a deduction?” he quizzed me._

_“I zoned out” I admitted. There was no point in lying anymore, he was too good for that. He would be able to tell if I’m lying or not. His powers of deduction were more superior then I have ever known._

_“Well snap out we have work to do. We don’t have time for dawdling about” Sherlock instructed my firmly with that deep voice of his._

_“Sir, yes sir!” I sarcastically said which earned me a subtle glare. I hung my head a little as I walked quickly to one side of him._

_“Molly. I need you for this too” Sherlock directed his speech at Molly gazing into her deep brown eyes._

_“I’m not going to be bait am I?” She asked with a slight nervous disposition in her voice. To this Sherlock chuckled a little before shaking his head._

_“No, you’re not going to be bait. Instead I’m going to need you to stick with John and do everything he says. If he tells you to run, you run. If he tells you to shoot, you shoot without a second thought. You need to have faith in him. I have taught him well and he knows my ways now.” Sherlock glanced up at me for a second on this line before returning his gaze back to Molly. “Can you do this for me Molly?”_

_Molly stared at him for a moment before nodding a little and whispering softly “Of course. I trust you”_

_“No. You need to trust John” I rolled my eyes at Sherlock’s words. How could she trust a sociopath more than m… oh wait, I forgot… she loved him. Of course she was going to trust him more._

_“I do. Of course I do.” She said nodding eagerly. After that they just stood and stared into each other’s eyes for a bit. As if Sherlock was reading Molly’s mind and she was allowing him to travel through her brain, opening and closing doors. Not a word was murmured out of their mouths. Not a single breath seemed to come from either of them. Until I coughed to get them to snap out of their lovers trance. Molly gasped a little and Sherlock quickly looked up at me remembering I was still in the room._

_“Yes. Hello I am still here!” I said sarcastically to him. This comment seemed to make Molly giggle a little however Sherlock wasn’t impressed and shot me a deep and meaningful glare telling me that he was pissed off at me for interrupting something._

_“Come on. We need to g…” Sherlock was cut off mid-sentence when he phone started ringing. “Sherlock Holmes.” It was Greg on the other end. “She’s what?!”_

_“Sherlock what is it?!” I spoke with an urgency in my voice. All he did was hold is hand up to my face, signalling that I should shut up._

_“Right. Right okay we’ll be there immediately” Sherlock hung up the phone moving his hand from my face._

_“Well?” I asked._

_“Well… it seems like our impersonator has gotten herself into a bit of trouble…”_

_“What do you mean?” Molly responded quickly._

_“She’s dead.” Sherlock bluntly said. My eyes widened and Molly gasped. “Her body was just found in an alley way a 20 minutes away from here. Lestrade wants us to go and confirm it’s her”_

_“Is she at Bart’s?” Molly asked._

_“No. Not yet. They’re collecting all the evidence first” Sherlock replied._

_“Okay. Okay well let’s go now then. Get this over with” I decided it was probably best to get it done quickly. Although it was a good thing she was out of the way, it just didn’t seem to add up. Why would someone kill her suddenly?_

_“Yes. Yes of course”_

_Sherlock led the way to the scene of the crime. It was a grubby and small alley way, filled up with countless members of Scotland Yard and the police force all doing their own things. “Where is she?” He asked Lestrade who at the time was speaking to Sally Donovan over by the police car._

_“Ah. Look who it is… the freak and his pet” Sally had to comment didn’t she!_

_He led us over to the body, beaten and bloodied with gnashes all over her arms and face. Sherlock leant down closer to the woman examining her closely no doubt using his mind palace to input detail about the crime._

_“Yes.” Sherlock stood up quickly and walked off. He wasn’t happy. Someone had resolved his problem in the way he didn’t want or would have done himself. Sherlock would never result in killing someone unless it was a life threatening situation._

_I ran over to him and calling him as I did “Sherlock! Sherlock!” Not once did he turn around to look at me. Not once did he notice I was there. “SHERLOCK HOLMES STOP RIGHT NOW!” This caught his attention. Sherlock turned around and stared at me before pacing quickly over to me._

_“Yes?” He asked firmly. I stared at him for a moment not knowing what to say, looking into his eyes trying to find an answer and some reassurance of some sorts._

_“Sherlock don’t beat yourself up for this. It’s not your fault” I could tell he was in some sort of distress about this situation. But it was the truth, it wasn’t his fault that she was dead._

_“Who says I’m beating myself up for this, John? You’re making assumption again, don’t do that people do that too often and it gets them into all sorts of trouble” Sherlock went to wander off again but this time I caught the sleeve of his long coat._

_“Sherlock. Listen to me. Neither of us know who did this or even why...” He rolled his eyes to this comment. I looked at him confused. “What? What have I missed?”_

_“As ever John you see but you do not observe…” he had said this on countless occasions throughout our... adventures._

_“Observe?”_

_“She was beaten then shot, John. The bullet was lodged into the back of her neck however the end was sticking out just enough to see the mark of the bullet maker” How the hell had he seen this? She was laying on her back for god sake!_

_“And the bullet marker was?”_

_“Someone who’s work we have encountered before. Jim Moriarty. I have come to the conclusion that all of his… ‘Hit men’ as they are so called, use a specific type of bullet handmade to HIS design. Each one is identical and they cannot be found anywhere else”_

_“So who is the bullet maker?” I asked._

_“Charles Rowns. Lives over in Switzerland. He personally delivers the bullets to Jim whenever he requests them.” Sherlock said as he started to walk off again._

_“Is there any point in me asking how you know this?” I muttered to myself._

_“None but you’re going to anyway so to be… kind, I’ll save you your breath and tell you how I know his name is Charles Rowns, how I know he’s personal and private bullet and how I know he lives in Switzerland.” Sherlock stared at me as if I was dumb._

_“Go on…”_

_“The initials on the end of the bullet, C.R. only private bullet makers leave their personal initials on the end of their bullets.” He began his run down on the identification of the bullet._

_“And the name?”_

_“Charles Rowns? Easy. If you look close enough just underneath the initials, his name is engraved in small letter. As for Switzerland… Google.”_

_“Google?” I asked with a slight surprised tone to my voice._

_“Yes Google.” We stared at each other for a moment. I had realised how horrible today had actually been. I almost lost my flatmate, my acquaintance, my friend to someone who was trying to get to Sherlock once again. Not only have I realised how horrible the day’s events were, but I had realised how dangerous my life had actually become. When I was in the army, I saw things. Dreadful things. Lives cut short by the flight of a bullet or a roar of an exploding bomb. I heard stories. Stories of how men’s lives where before we were sent into combat. They had plans. So many of them had dreams they wanted to achieve but couldn’t do so and will never be able to do so again. I told them of my life. How boring it was before. Living alone. A bachelor as the papers would say now a days. How I worked at St Bartholomew’s before turning my attentions to protecting my country. I told them of my plans for the future. Never had I imagined that Sherlock Holmes would be a part of it._

_We both looked away from each other’s gaze quickly. Molly Hooper was standing behind Sherlock staring at him. “I think you have an admirer, Sherlock” I joked nodding towards Molly subtly._

_Sherlock turned around and smiled at her as she walked towards him. “Thank you, Molly. I owe you a debt that one day I should hopefully be able to re-pa...”_

_“No. No you don’t. Well… actually there is one thing that would bring me satisfaction” She spoke nervously. Sherlock’s eyes widened toward the end of that sentence. He was probably assuming that Molly wanted him to sleep with her. But I could tell in her eyes that she never wanted that._

_“And what would that be?” Sherlock replied._

_“Have dinner with me. Tonight. Please just once.” I hear Sherlock give a slightly sigh of relief to what Molly had to say before nodding in agreement to her offer._

_“I would love to. 8 o’clock?”_

_Sherlock had arranged his date. 8pm came flying around. Sherlock left me alone in the flat. I spent the evening pondering thoughts to myself, drying whiskey and watching crap television. Whilst alone I had time to think to myself. I gazed around the flat from my chair. My eyes brushing over every detail of the room. I looked over to his violin, stood carefully up against the side of his chair. Suddenly the song he has written during the Irene Alder case. I moved my gaze over to the smiley face on the wall. My head replayed the sound of Sherlock firing the gun at it. The holes are still there. Mrs Hudson did put the damage costs on the rent the month he did it but I ended up saying I’d pay for it, in which I did. Everything in the flat reminded me of him. As if he had left his mark on every inch of this room._

_Sherlock returned home later that night smiling._

_“Oh. Hello. Have fun did we?” I asked him as he stood in the doorway._

_“Yes. Yes I did, John” Sherlock smiled at me as he removed his scarf and his coat placing them over the back of a chair before sitting down and relaxing in his chair. I poured him a whiskey and handed it to him. He took a sip at it and sighed._

_I went and sat back down in my chair, taking a large sip at my own drink. “So, what are we going to do about the imposter case?”_

_Sherlock stared at the wall behind me, thinking. He did this a lot. "Nothing. There's nothing we can do. We continue on with our lives as we always do."_


	13. A Diary on Baker Street: Part Twelve

So that was it. The months continued to role on and the cases came and went. I thought I had everything. I was happy being at his side, helping him. I was content. I finally found something I never wanted to loose. But then I did. On January 15th 2012, Sherlock Holmes fell to his death. He left this world and he left me. He did not fall out of spite or hatred to this world, he simply did it because he had too. He chose to save the life of his friends then to continue living with them constantly in danger.

People had told me we were like brothers. 'Brothers not in blood but in bond' is what they would say. And I agree with them. He was like a brother to me. A selfish and sometime inhumane brother, but he was still like one. That's why I had to write this. To get all my emotions and feelings for him off of my chest.

Not a day goes past that I don't think about him. And even after two years, I find myself sitting here talking about him. I still can't bare facing the shadows that haunt 221B. So many memories, so many sounds and conversations that occurred between the two occupants. The detective and the doctor. His doctor. A bond so strong not even god could have torn them apart. Except now he has and the cruel fate that is loneliness is now upon me. 

He once told that he wasn't a hero and that they don't exist. Well he did what he does best didn't he? He lied to me. They do exist and if he had just believed in himself, he would have realised he was one. Hero's don't have to be people who run around wearing capes and pants over their trousers saving the world from monsters, A hero is someone who would do anything, even put their own life on the line, to save and protect the people around them. The ones they love and who love them in return. Sherlock may have thought he didn't have the ability to love anyone, but he was certainly loved by many whose lives he had touched. Lestrade. Anderson. Molly. Mrs Hudson. Even me. 

He was so young when he left this world. When he left me. Yet in the corner of his eye were the thoughts of an elderly man. With all the wonders of the world sitting in his brain. He was the wisest and bravest man I ever knew. I loved him. I still do. And I always will though not in the way you are probably thinking. But the game's now over.


End file.
